Darjeeling 2nd Flush 

Harper's Bazaar UK September 2013

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Currently having tea and reading Harper's at my favourite tea house.

I probably shouldn't be, considering the work load I have on my shoulders, but I feel sluggish to the point of complete idleness. I haven't been plagued with this kind of lethargy in quite a while, actually. It might have something to do with my relentless schedule as of lately. I worked all weekend, including Friday, and spent the past two weeks pretty much just reading for school and exercising everyday. 

In its essence, really - school, exercise, work - but its proven easier said than done. Despite my efforts, I'm still not caught up and it's reinstating this sense of disarray in my mind, which not to mention is constantly running. It seems I will forever be in pursuit of structure and balance in my life. Perhaps it's all due to procrastination, something that seems to be too intrinsic for me to evade and perhaps what I perceive to be productivity is actually delusion.

Either way, I'm quite certain that last night's - after coming home - and today's combination of both laze and indecisiveness may well be the effects of mental and physical exhaustion. Fatigue personified.

I need a break, clarity, and organisation. If I don't stop and breathe for today, I'm certain I'll go mad.

I say all this because there's a residing guilt in my stomach telling me it's not okay to take a break today and there's a long list of duties to be done. Luckily enough, blogging has a therapeutic effect on me. This, combined with the calm nostalgia from the 'Dark Star' spread on Harper's, will hopefully quell my guilt even in the slightest, just for a short amount of time until I have the energy to restart.